Tuesday, April 8, 2014

What No One Tells You About Pregnancy

I find it shocking that between the two pregnancy books that I own and the multiple pregnancy websites I read weekly that the following information was not provided. No one told me that:
1. During pregnancy, people (coworkers, family, etc) would consider my pregnancy to be a disability. I'm not disabled folks, I'm pregnant. Big difference. If anything, you non-pregnant folks are the disabled ones because you're only living for one; I'm living for two. I eat for two, pee & poop for two, exercise for two, do everything for two.
2. Before I was pregnant the conversation starter of "What's going on?" would change to "How are you feeling today?" However, people still don't really want to know the answer. (They don't want to hear when you're constipated.)
3. Pregnancy websites and books all describe the first sensations of baby movements to feel like butterfly wings or bubbles popping. What they fail to mention is that at week 19, it feels like my baby is practicing karate kicks on my intestines. That baby feels a lot more violent than butterflies and bubbles.
4. Your body will hurt. My leg and butt muscles start to hurt if I walk too much. They also hurt if I stand too much. They also hurt if I sit still too long (regardless of if the chair/couch is soft or hard.)
5. When you tell people you are taking maternity leave, they expect you mean 6 weeks. Where did you get that idea? I'm taking as close to 12 weeks as I can. I deserve it. My baby deserves it. My checkbook deserves it (so I can save on that $160+/week childcare expense for an additional couple weeks.)
6. Your boobs will get huge. Very early in  your pregnancy. And probably will grow again once you give birth and your milk comes in. I increased from a C to a D cup in the first 2 months of pregnancy. You couldn't even tell by looking at my belly that I was pregnant, but I almost looked like Dolly Parton.
7. Pregnant sex is awesome. You don't have to worry about the birth control not working because you're already pregnant and it doesn't matter!
8. It is incredibly difficult to find information for continuing strength training and cardio routines throughout pregnancy. Most strength training websites I find advise me to lift no more than 10 pounds. Hello! How does that prepare me for lifting a baby or toddler that weighs more than 10 pounds? And why do I have to scale back to that when I've been lifting 50+ pounds for 2 sets of 15 for the last 2+ years? Why am I suddenly deemed a weakling? I talked with my personal trainer and she said to continue doing what I was doing pre-pregnancy but to not increase weights. And if it starts to hurt or get uncomfortable then scale it back by 5-10 pounds or until it is comfortable again. That sounds like better advice.
9. You will be hungry all the time. You will eat and be hungry in two hours. You will take snacks to work and run out of them quickly. That bunch of 6 bananas you bought to last for snacks all week? You need to get more fruit because those won't last more than 2-3 days.
10. You will feel like you are temporarily missing out on parts of your life. Typically go for a 4-wheeler ride at the farm on summer weekends? Well, when you're pregnant, that ATV ride is considered "risky behavior" so you can't do that. Like your steaks medium rare and your eggs over-easy? Shouldn't do that, not even if you processed the meat yourself and personally knew/know the chickens, cow/deer and farmer. Like feta cheese? This is one area where most of the books/websites are wrong! If that cheese is made with pasteurized milk, eat the whole f-ing block if you want! I have yet to come across a cheese sold in stores that is not made with pasteurized milk. The only cheese I can think of that might be on the "no" list during pregnancy is the cheese curds from the farmer's market in Springfield, but since my favorite way to eat those was pan-fried they are probably safe to eat.

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